Somjai Tae
If everyone agreed on everything all the time, the world would be beautiful and peaceful without conflict. No conflict would be great, but it would be very boring, because nothing would ever change. We need conflicting ideas in order to do the thinking to move forward. Truthfully, we need conflict with existing view of the world in order to learn and be creative. We need conflict with another person in order to deepen our relationship. However, it does not mean yelling, fighting, etc.
To be successful in mastering the conflict and negotiation skills, we need to communicate more effectively in "charged" situations. And then go towards the conflict and move through it to the next level. As a manager, I bound to encounter differences either within my team or between you and a client. These situations can be emotionally taxing, but if we have a better understanding of how to work through them and even learn and grow from them, conflicts can actually make you better at your job. In fact, when handled well, conflict forces us to be creative problem-solvers, to avoid mistakes, and to learn how to benefit from individual’s differences, all while challenging us to broaden our skills. Conflict gets nasty, gets personal, leads to more conflict, and harms working relationships. Fortunately, now we can prevent disagreements from learning about how different people deal with conflict in this course.
To be successful in mastering the conflict and negotiation skills, we need to communicate more effectively in "charged" situations. And then go towards the conflict and move through it to the next level. As a manager, I bound to encounter differences either within my team or between you and a client. These situations can be emotionally taxing, but if we have a better understanding of how to work through them and even learn and grow from them, conflicts can actually make you better at your job. In fact, when handled well, conflict forces us to be creative problem-solvers, to avoid mistakes, and to learn how to benefit from individual’s differences, all while challenging us to broaden our skills. Conflict gets nasty, gets personal, leads to more conflict, and harms working relationships. Fortunately, now we can prevent disagreements from learning about how different people deal with conflict in this course.
Understanding the types of behavior that occur during conflict, it can help us to get the most out of it. The types of conflict behavior are:
1. Competing: you have a high concern for personal goals and low concern for relationships.
2. Collaborative: you’re interested in a mutually satisfactory solution.
3. Compromising: you’re willing to give something up if they are.
4. Avoiding: you delay and ignore the conflict, hoping it will resolve itself.
5. Accommodating: you’re willing to make a sacrifice to avoid confrontation.
Using the points from the book, “Crucial Conversation, “ we can apply these skills:
• Work on Me First
• Focus on What You Want
• Learn to Look
• Make It Safe
• Apologize When Appropriate
Further, we can practice the four principles of effective negotiation from the book, “Getting to Yes.” It is a highly effective way of reaching good agreements. The process of principled negotiation can be used effectively on almost any type of dispute.
1) Separate the people from the problem
2) Focus on interests rather than positions
3) Generate a variety of options before settling on an agreement
4) Insist that the agreement be based on objective criteria
It is not easy to resolve conflict in any relationship. Sometimes in conflict it is important to step back, or move away from the emotional attachments that go with a disagreement. Removing the self emotionally helps to avoid trading personal attacks. This approach makes it possible to approach the situation in a neutral way, such as: “We have a problem here that isn’t working for us. We need to work together to develop options.” Being committed to the relationship is important in conflict resolution. If we really care about a person being right is less important than maintaining relations. That is the desire to clear up misunderstanding, develop understanding and find a resolution that works for all parties involved. How we communicate in conflicts can affect the outcome.
1. Competing: you have a high concern for personal goals and low concern for relationships.
2. Collaborative: you’re interested in a mutually satisfactory solution.
3. Compromising: you’re willing to give something up if they are.
4. Avoiding: you delay and ignore the conflict, hoping it will resolve itself.
5. Accommodating: you’re willing to make a sacrifice to avoid confrontation.
Using the points from the book, “Crucial Conversation, “ we can apply these skills:
• Work on Me First
• Focus on What You Want
• Learn to Look
• Make It Safe
• Apologize When Appropriate
Further, we can practice the four principles of effective negotiation from the book, “Getting to Yes.” It is a highly effective way of reaching good agreements. The process of principled negotiation can be used effectively on almost any type of dispute.
1) Separate the people from the problem
2) Focus on interests rather than positions
3) Generate a variety of options before settling on an agreement
4) Insist that the agreement be based on objective criteria
It is not easy to resolve conflict in any relationship. Sometimes in conflict it is important to step back, or move away from the emotional attachments that go with a disagreement. Removing the self emotionally helps to avoid trading personal attacks. This approach makes it possible to approach the situation in a neutral way, such as: “We have a problem here that isn’t working for us. We need to work together to develop options.” Being committed to the relationship is important in conflict resolution. If we really care about a person being right is less important than maintaining relations. That is the desire to clear up misunderstanding, develop understanding and find a resolution that works for all parties involved. How we communicate in conflicts can affect the outcome.
Clearly conflict resolution is a complicated skill. Most people can benefit from developing the skills of stepping back from the conflict. Practicing these skills will enhance our communication style. Effective solutions and better relationships are achieved in this manner.
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